I listened to Dr. Becky Kennedy on Lenny's podcast, a child psychologist talking to a room of founders and product leaders, and I nodded twice.
Once as a parent. Once as a coach.
That double-nod meant something.
Her premise is simple and uncomfortable: all human systems run on the same fundamentals.
The boardroom and the kitchen table.
The founder and the five-year-old.
Same operating system. Different height.
If that's true, and I think it is, then your struggles at home are data about the office.
And vice versa.
The line that stopped me completely:
"I believe you, and I believe in you."
Seven words. Two truths held at the same time.
The first part, I believe you, validates the experience.
I'm not minimising what you're feeling.
The second, and I believe in you, refuses to collapse. I'm not going to treat you like you can't handle this.
Most leaders pick one.
They dismiss ("it's fine, toughen up") or they cave ("you're right, this is terrible").
Both are regulation failures dressed up as leadership.
Dr. Becky names it cleanly: the move is to hold both truths without flinching.
That's not a parenting technique. That's what a STURDY (my new favourite word) leader actually looks like.
Sturdy is her word. Not invulnerable. Not distant.
Regulated when the people around you aren't.
Staying grounded while the system around you is dysregulated—that's the whole job.
For a parent and a founder.
The other reframe: repair over perfection.
Trust isn't built by never messing up. It's built in the return.
The leader who pretends the mistake didn't happen loses ground quietly.
The one who comes back, "that wasn't okay, here's where I fell short", builds something that lasts.
This week:
When someone on your team does something that frustrates you, before you respond, find the most generous interpretation.
What's the most charitable reason this happened? Lead from that assumption.
Better data. More trust. Less wreckage.
Same with your kids.
Same game. Different height.
Source: Lenny's Newsletter
